Proving a Point
If you have to shout to prove your point, you probably don’t have a valid point, no matter how loud you shout, it just isn’t convincing enough. We often try to live up to the image we’ve created for ourselves. This exists in our heads alone. Our perception of self isn’t actually how we are perceived by the world. We resort to futile means to prove something to someone, trying to sell our perceived self-image to others. While trying to prove a point, we resort to means that are flawed and baseless, frequently trying to justify our actions. We justify our excuses, failing to understand that these excuses sound the best to the ones making them, and no one really cares about your excuses but you!
Our mindset is a key factor in building our self image, and perspective is everything. Perception has two sides to it, like a coin. One can cry and laugh about the same situation. Every scenario brings with it a choice, to either choose between doing something for someone else or ourselves. I could not reiterate this enough if I wanted to! Our personal narrative is what we try to live up to.
Potential is an interesting idea as it represents something that isn’t yet real, yet we act like it is because we are told to live up to our potential!
-Jordan Peterson (Canadian clinical psychologist)
We are everything we could be across time. Imagine yourself and the potential inside you whatever that may be, as you stand to achieve what you think is possible and what you know is possible for you to achieve. We determine our potential to what we can and what we cannot do. We do not have to live up to any yardstick other than the one we set for ourselves. An arena that I saw this take shape was my running. I had made several POAs(Plan of action) to run faster and better my time. In attempting to do so, I did not improve my timing but rather ended up sustaining more injuries. The constant pressure I applied on my legs led to the injuries, often pushing my legs beyond limits, WHY? — simply because I was trying to prove a point. I wanted to show everyone that no injury could stop me from running. This constantly applied pressure with little rest did not allow my legs to recover and hence resulted in the deterioration of my performance. Upon crossing the 2km mark, I would feel my knees souring up but I had painted a picture of myself in my head that I cannot stop at anything less than a 5km mark. This ego that I had built up for myself, the self-image I had developed for myself did not let me stop at the first signs of my pain receptors. I dragged myself for the rest of the 3km and by the time I was done with my run, I would have a limp and the following several days were taken up in recovering from that. This was an endless loop until I had to get out of my head to rebuild the image I had built in my head. One ought to accept his/her flaws to correct them. Our minds are filled with the will to achieve ‘perfection’ that we don’t want to commit mistakes anymore.
As we leave the innocence of our childhood, we are no longer willing to commit the mistakes and learn from them. I’m not afraid to make a mistake when it comes to running. If you do anything, you never want to do something half-heartedly, especially when it comes down to something you absolutely love. I am not afraid to fall over, stumble upon another injury. This often cripples people on the onset of getting to anything, I am not afraid of that feeling, it drives me and works quite the opposite. I can persist two to three kilometers after having sustained an injury. It’s a simple act of keeping your head down and keeping running. I feel the pride in doing so. WAIT! STOP! REFLECT! Why am I running? Am I in a race right now? Is someone going to put a medal around my neck because I kept at it? Am I running to show someone else that I can or am I truly running for Myself? It’s time to step aside and retrospect my actions.
To find more, attain more, we have to dive within ourselves. If we are not willing to go in there and face ourselves, we will not find what we were looking for, and for this to happen we need to be true to ourselves. It is better to live truthfully than in deceit with yourself. We need to muster the courage to face ourselves, it’s time to retrospect and retrace our steps to where we have come.
The Goal isn’t to be the best every day, the goal isn’t to beat the people around, there will always be that person who is a tenth more talented, a tenth more skilled, a tenth luckier, there is always going to be someone better. This will be daunting especially with an inconsistent frame of reference. If one is at the top of their game right now it won’t be too long before someone surpasses them. Sixty-Seven Years ago, a 4-minute mile was considered an impossible feat until it was crushed by Roger Banister in 1954, and ever since the “4-minute barrier” has been broken by over 1400 runners! Our goal is to better ourselves and in doing so fulfillment is what matters. The game that we are playing is neither success nor money nor is it legacy. We strive for the neurochemistry where we feel good about ourselves in the current moment. We do not have to be better than somebody else, we aren’t here to prove a point! We end up spending an enormous amount of time comparing ourselves with somebody who is not us!
Comparison is the thief of Joy
-Theodore Roosevelt (26th U.S. President)
Comparison will rob you off of your happiness and land you far from what was destined for you. The goal isn’t to be better than someone else, rather it is to win the daily battles we fight with ourselves. When we try to level up our quest towards mastery, our fears are surfaced, which many of us do not wish to confront. One of the real reasons we don’t do things that frighten us is because we are afraid of being judged. All of us have been through these fears, there is no denial in that. We need to stop judging ourselves through the lens of others. How the world perceives us or what they think of us, is none of our concern. Maybe we stand at the same juncture right now as that of another individual, but the paths taken are entirely distinct and there is no reason for us to compare the two.
Accomplishment is socially judged by ill defined criteria, therefore define your own criterion
-Albert Bandura (Canadian-American psychologist)
Approaching a landmark in my running, I look back at the journey I had embarked upon, which had begun as a mere New Year’s resolution, getting up from that couch and trying to prove a point to someone. No sooner had I begun running, than did I fall in love with it. Nearing the goal that I had first pictured in my head when I began, it feels beautiful as I come to accomplish it. The goal that I had dreamt of, so clearly, so frequently has manifested itself into reality and the journey has taught me a great lesson: We can either run from our adversities or face our adversities head-on and conquer them. No matter what anybody says, we can go out there and do what we love without paying heed to the voices out there. There were a few words spoken about my unplanned run and the erratic times in which they came, it really did not matter to me. I run because it makes me happy!
I may have taken longer than you to accomplish this, but hey, I’m not here to compete, I’m just here to do something that I love the most.
